Blessed & Curvy

Grief and Healing: A Journey to Finding Peace Grief is one of the most profound emotions we experience. It arises from loss, whether the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a cherished chapter of life. It’s an emotion that touches us all, yet the journey through grief is deeply personal and unique. In the aftermath of loss, it’s common to feel like the ground beneath you has shifted. Days may blur together, emotions ebb and flow unpredictably, and even the smallest tasks can feel monumental. But within the storm of grief lies the possibility of healing—a journey that transforms pain into a testament of love and resilience. Understanding Grief Grief isn’t linear. It doesn’t follow a predictable path or timeline. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—but these stages don’t always occur in order, nor do they encompass everyone’s experience. Some may revisit certain stages, while others might experience grief in ...

The holiday season can feel overwhelming when you're grieving. The twinkling lights, cheerful carols, and festive gatherings that once brought joy might now feel like painful reminders of who's missing from your celebration. But I want you to know something important: your grief is valid, and there's no "right" way to experience Christmas during loss. Here are some gentle strategies to help you navigate this season: 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Your emotions are real and important. Some moments you might feel sad, others angry, and sometimes unexpectedly peaceful. Allow yourself to feel without judgment. Grief isn't linear, and Christmas won't magically erase your pain. 2. Create New Traditions While honoring past memories, consider creating new rituals that feel meaningful. This might mean: - Lighting a memorial candle - Sharing stories about your loved one - Doing an activity they enjoyed - Making a photo album or memory box 3. Set Boundaries It's ok...

Thanksgiving is often depicted as a joyous time filled with laughter, shared meals, and expressions of gratitude. But for those who are grieving, the holiday can be a stark reminder of loss and absence. Whether you’re mourning the recent loss of a loved one or navigating long-standing grief, Thanksgiving may feel heavy, and that’s okay. Grief and gratitude can coexist, even if it feels complicated. Acknowledging the Empty Chair One of the hardest parts of Thanksgiving is the empty chair at the table—a vivid symbol of someone missing. It’s natural to feel their absence even more acutely during a time meant for togetherness. Instead of avoiding the topic, consider creating a moment of remembrance: Light a candle in their honor. Share a favorite memory or story about them. Cook their signature dish or something they love. These small acts of acknowledgment can help keep their spirit alive and create space for both grief and connection. Redefining Gratitude Gratitude during grief doesn’t h...

  What a difference a day makes! As I wake up today, I find myself deep in reflection. It has been two years since my sister passed away from cancer—a year that has forever changed me and my family. In that time, we’ve held each other tighter, finding strength in our bond as life threw its challenges our way. This year has been full of curveballs—health scares, job uncertainties, and relationship hurdles. Yet, I’m grateful for the lessons these experiences have taught me. They’ve forced me to grow, adapt, and lean into the person I’m becoming. Looking back, I know I’m not the same person I was at the start of this year. One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned is addressing my emotions head-on. Too often, we’re told to bottle up our feelings, to smile through the pain, but I’ve learned that suppressing emotions takes a toll on your health and spirit. Instead, I choose to be honest, to set boundaries, and to speak up when something feels wrong. Not everyone may receive that ...

Learning the inevitable.  Scared all my life that I would lose loved ones one by one to cancer. It's the scarlet letter . The awful crest that each wears. Cancer! So on this particular day when I am summoned to my eldest sister's home upon her return home from the hospital.  A place she was only supposed to be for a couple of days that lasted weeks. There was in the air that made it difficult to breathe.  She looked weak laying on top of the bed. Told to sit by her feet. Siblings coming into the room. One standing behind me, one in the door and my brother across from me. She had problem looking me into the eyes and stared at the ceiling as the words slowly came out of her mouth. She has been diagnosed with cancer and it wasn't in her lungs. She was a lung cancer survivor and this time is was in her liver spreading. She was determined to fight and she was going to beat it! In shock,  the tears flowed, collapsing into the sibling arms who was behind me.  Questions...

  Greetings to All,       It has been a gap since I last blogged but I wanted to come back and share my thoughts. A lot has  happened since the last post. In politics, we have a new President and the First Black Female Vice  President. In healthcare, we have as a world been hit with Covid-19 and so many are dying from  complications.  You have so many that are impacted by losing jobs, their shelter, and are on the brink  of losing it all.       You can't turn on the television or look at  social media without seeing states, towns and countries  being shut down and everyone handling it different.  Those who are working from home have a  different level of stress and are triggered by anything because there's no escape.       As we are entering into 2021, we are hoping for new beginnings. It's not like the years prior where  you have a list of goals and resolutions that you ho...

G rief and the sickeningly sweet smell of too many flowers hung heavy in the warm air of the late August afternoon. Morgan felt the weight of tears shed and hearts breaking. She rubbed her hands down her black silk suit when she walked slowly toward the simple wooden coffin that held the body of her beloved baby brother, Winston. “ Half -brother.” She could almost imagine her mother, Marie, standing in front of her and uttering the word “half” as if it were some sort of disease. Morgan breathed deeply and pushed Marie’s words from her mind as she exhaled. They had no place here. Winston’s mask-like, powdered face somehow belied the words “heart attack” that still echoed in her head. Morgan stepped away from the coffin and quickly brushed away her tears. She fled the church and barely heard the words of comfort tossed her way. Outside there would be air she could breathe without inhaling the pain of the mourners. Morgan moved quickly once outside. Her legs felt some...

What made me write was the death of my mother! I had so many emotions pinned up that I felt I was in it alone and no one could understand. I took out my journal and the words bled onto the pages. Flooded by tears I went through not just grieving her, I went back to my childhood and memories that I had hid in the back of my mind came forth. I grieved a part of myself that I left in Connecticut, I grieved relationships that were gone, and I grieved a job that was my life. I wrote so much until my family begged me to stopped. I was drowning in my grief and I needed to come back. It was through the ministers at my church that prayed for me, called me,  on occasion had me to come out of the house and talk. Talking through my feeling that I had lost my mother on my watch! I had prepared all appointments, I had taken her to the doctors, and yet I was caught off guard. She had Alzheimer's, I remember the doctor saying if she wants cheesecake let her have it, ...

I stopped putting up a Christmas tree the year after my mother passed. Christmas was her favorite holiday, it was went she knew all her children were going to come home or call her. She was busy cooking in the kitchen all of our favorite dishes, making sure the house was decorated and the tree was lit. I had taken my mother to the hospital for what we thought was going to be something simple, she would get medication and come home. I had ordered her gifts that were under the tree, I had thought she must have pneumonia because they are keeping her. She would be home in time for Christmas and what we learned was she wasn’t coming home this trip but she was dying.  As a caregiver you’re so focused on the love one that you have their schedule memorized, have the doctor’s phone numbers programmed into the phone, and you’re on alert. I had no control over this situation and it felt like it was in warp speed. When the dust settled she was gone, a piece of me was lai...