Reaching Out

Reaching Out 

Recently I been having difficulty posting on my blog. Right after Mother's Day my desire was diminished to sit down and share my thoughts with anyone. I should be celebrating the woman who was my Mother. Instead it was if someone has snatched the scab off and I had to deal with the feelings.

The feelings of not being able to call her to tell her about my new job. To share about my recent 

accomplishments. To call her and gossip about my siblings and hear her advice. There was something that I felt others whose Mother had passed where sharing on Facebook a grieving for your best friend their Mom.


What I decided to is take care of myself. Write down everything that I want to do,celebrate life, and do them. 

Take myself out to dinner, go for a long ride, purchase only items that I needed and not what I wanted. 

Make sure that I don't go binge shopping to make my sadness go away. I write down a list of items to buy. One item is alarming.

I found myself looking for a cotton night gown, store after store, and not seeing what I was looking for.  My 

sisters were puzzled why after 53 years was I looking a cotton nightgown?  Never registering that what I 

was describing that I wanted was exactly what my Mother wore. 

It wasn't until I looked at the calendar that I realized that her birthday is June 6th, I might keep myself busy,

and think that I am fine but I was reaching out. I was looking for that security. That feeling of knowing that with change that I would be okay. Though I never found the cotton night gown I realized what I was going 

through.  I went into my home office and opened the box with all the framed pictures. There is her photos 

I had put away because I didn't want to remember the pain. 

Slowly these past weeks I acknowledge that I am my Mother's daughter. My mannerisms are so much like her that I beam with pride. I miss her dearly. I celebrate her life and all that she stood for. God, family and friends. I am reaching out to wish you a Happy Birthday Rev. Betty L. Saunders. R.I.P.

Submitted by:

Patricia A. Saunders
Author, Poet and Blogger

www.patriciaAsaunders.com