Sunday, November 25, 2018

A Sister's Love

A Sister's Love

Growing up I was the youngest of 13 siblings. I had one in particular who took the role at the age of 11

to be the Second Momma. She would babysit me, as she got older her job was to make sure I ate, bathe

and did my homework. She was a teenager and I did everything that she did. She applied Noxzema to her

face for teenage acne well here I am right behind her when she went to school putting it on my face. She

would put ketchup on her collard greens well here I go doing the same thing again. When she started dating

her boyfriend who is now her husband I was scared that our relationship would change. On her wedding day

my nose was bleeding because I was afraid my sister was going to leave me forever.

Our relationship didn't change if anything I was calling her to talk on the phone like she was next store, when

I could I was taking the bus to spend weekends with her until I learned to drive. She later moved to

California and when I was in my late 20's and my father's health was declining it was best that I go

where I had family and support. I was going to be closer to my Second Momma.

I understand that not all families are the same. Some siblings have arguments and don't speak for years but

that's not our case. We talk on the phone daily, talk about everything that I normally would with my Mother

who has passed, and if I am ever hungry I know I can go grab a plate.

The best thing about having sisters is that they are always going to be there, they are your best friend, your

counselor, your shopping buddy, and travel partners. My sisters will always be honest with me and tell

me their honest opinion even if it is going to hurt me. 

People don't understand from the outside our dynamic but it takes something traumatic like a brush with

death, a serious illness, something that will harm us that makes the five sisters forget any misunderstandings

and get into formation. My lonely brother feels left out at times but together my mother had instilled in each

of us a piece of her. That together we are the glue to hold each other up when a crisis arises. 

 It's the holidays when we always check on each other. It's the time of year when we miss our mother most.

This year especially we had a scare with the Second Momma and we all got into formation like we did when

we had to take care of our mother. We all got on phones calling our friends and family who work in the

medical field, called on our Heavenly Father to not let her go, and we started praying. Our family is tigher

members who were not speaking are speaking. The baton has been passed to the younger generation to

take over as we are getting older. A sister's love is like no other love.

Submitted by
Patricia A. Saunders
Award Winning Author, Poet and Blogger

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

I want to write a book ... where do I start?

I am asked all the time once someone knows that I am a writer.

How did you publish your book?

I tell everyone that I started writing in my journal and once I had enough content I started taking

pieces and putting them into the outline.

I challenged myself to write poetry and nonfiction with the outcome that the reader would find

motivation. I wanted the reader to take what I had wrote and relate in some parts to the topics.

Then I started doing my research with other writers on what they were doing.

I also used Google to find self published publishers over traditional.

Once I felt that there was a relationship I read all of the contract before signing on the dotted line.

I uploaded my manuscript and the work began.

I was contacted to give a synopsis of what the book was about, where did I want it to be sold, how

many pages was the book. What type of formatting did I want to use, the color of the pages and lastly

help in selecting the book cover.

Again research research and more research.

I decided on the amount I wanted to charge for my books, found the book covers for each of my

books because I had a vision that I wanted the buyer to capture off the shelves to purchase.

I found my own editor and went through revision after revision until I felt the book my baby

was ready to be born.

My advice to any poet, new author, or reader who is contemplating writing their first book is to do

your due diligence. What works for one might not work for you. Whom I chose for a publisher

was based on my need . There are many out there and make sure you have your work copyrighted!

I wish all the best on the journey. There is a story in each of us to share.

Submitted by :
Patricia A. Saunders
Author, Poet, Blogger

visit my website at

Monday, November 5, 2018

Not Needing Your Acceptance

Not Needing Your Acceptance

Powerful words

Letting them roll off of my lips like dew drops

As a child we do everything to appease our parents

Then it become peer pressure when we are teenagers

Then it's someone else that we are trying to please

At some point it stops!

When I was younger I was told I was beautiful

That all that matters is that you're beautiful

So as I aged, life challenges presented itself ,  as most men and women I found  myself with a few extra


Now I was still beautiful but society had labels 

I had family members who love me say " You dress cute for a big girl"

It would sting because why wasn't I thought of as someone who dressed nice

I hit 50 years old and there was a feeling of liberation.

I was letting friends go who were negative

I was letting relationships go that were toxic

I was letting jobs go that were killing me

Again the same family member would say " You know companies won't hire you because you're plus size

they discriminate".

I would prove her wrong , get a wonderful job and keep stepping.

I have had to overcome adversity due to the color of my skin, my gender and my age but never my size!

Recently the same sibling stopped talking to me because while stressed I confessed that within 24 hours I

ate 8 donuts. She was sending me affirmations, saying she was doing an intervention, and literature on

12 step programs for Overweight Anonymous. I got her intent was good but the delivery sucked.

Here's the funny thing out of 13 siblings I don't have cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure or anything I

am the healthiest child. The only ailment is arthritis that I inherited from my father's side of the family.

I had a conversation with a friend recently talking honestly about life , sexual orientation, religion and

everything grown talk about. I said as I have grown to be my age and hope to grow older that the last thing

I need on this earth is anyone's acceptance. Anyone who knows me knows that I wear my heart on my

sleeve, I bear all my emotions, relationships and everything on the line I have nothing to hide.

I have ended childhood friendships with people over their insecurities that they tried to pass to me.  I have

walked off of jobs where I didn't feel that I was treated with respect and didn't have another one lined up. I

am still living, employed with another job, and new friends have come into my life. When people tell me their

stories it's not for me to judge and tell them how I feel the chapter of their book should be written.

What people fail to realize in life everyone makes decisions. They are either right or wrong depending on

who you ask. The answer is do you need their acceptance to live your life to the fullest capacity? Majority

the time the answer if no!

So I live my plus size life blessed and curvy! I drink my wine when I want to and I smoke a good cigar!

When you have others in your life who want you to follow their way or no way it depends on you do you

want to follow! I will never be a follower except to the man above who I call my Almighty Father!

I hope this blog today helps someone who has been judged and feels bullied . Don't let them get you down.

Keep your head up !

Not Needing Your Acceptance ! keep saying that .

Live, Love, and Laugh

Submitted by Patricia A. Saunders
Author, Poet, Motivational Speaker and Blogger