I skipped March

Greetings All,

I was asked what happened to my posts for the month of March? My answer was the world shut down!

I was excited about my birthday month it was going to be the big double nickel year. I had decided

I didn't want a birthday party, I had made arrangements for a custom cake and a family birthday

dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. Literally  I had posted about my father's passing 8 days

before my birthday many years ago and within 24 hours one of my nieces was rushed to the 

hospital almost dying. I fell apart,  I was begging God please don't let her die, and saying she has

a son who needs her. I am older , never married and no kids if anyone can go let it be me and let her

live!

God's plan is not my plans and I can't bargain with him. So she got better, my birthday party was 

canceled, my job sent all of us home to work, and the governor said only come out for gas, groceries 

and to the bank.  This was the new normal and I realized that though I keep to myself I need to have 

balance. I need to be able to get out, coexist, touch someone and laugh. I found myself going to the 

drugstore to visit sounds weird I know. They got my pattern down to the point when I step to the 

counter there are my two packs of Camel cigarettes.  Here is the story behind that two years ago I 

went to work at a company and that was one of the employee's smoked. When we would bum a 

cigarette from her we replace the pack. It got to the point that we forgot what we would normally

smoke we became trained to only smoke Camel menthol crush silver.  She left the company but

we each continued the tradition. We got mad at one employee who had the nerve to purchase a pack

of what she liked.  I say all of this to say we fall into patterns and it hard to get rid of them. 

I had all the plans in the beginning of the year of what my life would look like, what turning 55 

would be like and places I would go. Nothing turned out the way I wanted it but I have the 

memories. I am thankful to be alive. I am excited that my niece is finally getting the care to get better

and will be able to have a new life with her son. I decided that the china comes out, thee jewelry I 

was only going to wear for special occasions is going to be worn, and the walls are coming down . 

I am going to live !

I will always remember the year though that I skipped March!