Hey Sister Can We Talk?

The other day I got into a conversation with other women at work about relationships. The topic went into so many directions. There were secrets revealed, tears shed, and at the end we realized that we were all vulnerable to love.

One woman shared that she had been married for 17 years and her husband was loyal to her for only 4 years. That she allowed her spouse to come in and out of her life even when they divorced, hoping he would come back and wanting to be a family for her kids. She finally met another man, falls in love, and recently married him after she allowed herself to be loved. Her kids say they never saw her smile while she was with their father. They see what love now looks like.

It resonates with another woman sitting on the other side of the table. Her parents were married but her mother was verbally and physically abusive to her father so they divorced.  Their divorced impacted from the child respective. The point of being divorced but letting the spouse back in, sharing the same bed, and the confusion when rejected.  She felt that she wasn’t good enough when she became an adult to be in a relationship!  There was something that I had mentioned that when someone is broken that they can’t expect to be married and have their spouse make them whole. She said she had to work on herself because she was broken!

How many of you feel that you are broken? How many have a list of everything specific that you are looking for in a relationship? Does the person have to be equally yoked? Do they have to be a certain age?  Have to make a certain amount of money? Will you let others tell you what you should have in a mate or know for yourself?

My feeling is to be organic with it. Meaning don’t go looking because if it’s meant to be it will find you.  Be comfortable within your own skin. The pet peeve that I have is women scared to be alone that they accept treatment from a man that doesn’t deserve  a queen just to have the initial MRS. in front of their names.

I think what impacted myself is being a daughter of a woman who was a survivor. It helped me to overcome my own insecurities, to set goals for what I want in a relationship, and to let down the ice cold wall that protected my heart so that I can experience love. 

My books covers all aspect of relationship and sitting with those women on that day made me look at them on a different level. We were able to share and take those masks off that we put on when we are at work. We were able to share hugs, wipe away tears, and encourage the next woman. We were able to talk!

 Submitted by,

Patricia A. Saunders

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